Pinnies
in Heaven
There
is a salient reality to living in heaven. There are so many people
(or more correctly souls) that abound in utter delight. Delight of
each other, of themselves, and of the prescient force that draws them
there.
One
can walk, float, or fly for endless days marvelling at the wonder of
the place. Stepping down every now and then to engage in conversation
or to accost someone from your past life for a catch up on how things
are going with yours and their descendants.
The
marvellous thing above all else is the sheer weight of good people
that manifest the place. A number of times I have run across friends
from school and work and social circles that have made it here. And
the staggering number from family circles. I knew I had a family
that was intrinsically good, but to see that almost all of them were
here was so awe inspiring. It boded well for my descendants to see
such numbers.
Let
me introduce myself. I am Shane Walker, or was in the physical life,
a former commercial pilot, father, husband (twice) and finally
author. I physically lived until the age of 62, whereby my contract
with physicality ceased. I have one son and one daughter from my
first marriage, and adopted three sons and two daughters in my second
marriage.
My
first wife, Sarina, left me in my mid forties after twenty years of
marriage, a friendly separation mutually agreed upon due to our
differing views and the fact that our love for each other had run
out. After a period of 14 months, I met my second wife, Zoe, and we
married after a short courtship. We were together until she died of
cancer when she was 59. Ironically, Sarina also died the same year,
of cancer also. Suddenly, aged 60, I was father to seven children
again, as Sarina had never remarried.
Although
nearly all the children were now out in the world doing their own
thing, my only son Adam, from my marriage to Sarina, and Siobhan,
Zoe’s youngest were both handicapped, and therefore were both
living with me until I died. Thankfully, Charity, Zoe’s eldest
girl, had suggested that when I go that both Adam and Siobhan could
live with her, as she was a social worker, had no intentions of
getting married and having children, being a lesbian, and had a
genuine love for both her sibling and her stepbrother.
My
life had been full, with plenty in it to ensure that I not reach
heaven, but having faced up to the realities of life, and repented
before the eyes of the Maker, I had changed to take on the
responsibilities destined me. Although my notion of love was
somewhat romantic, I tended to display my love through practical
application and affection, and through the works undertaken in my
authorship. I thanked everyone for the life I had been given, and
didn’t begrudge anyone for pain I may have put them through at
times, and the consequences of that pain. But in the end it helped
me grow as a person, and to mature as a man and a father.
When
my time for death came, as I knew it would, I was prepared. I
couldn’t have been any more prepared. When I had my breakdown
before Sarina left me, I had a premonition of my life laid out before
me. A destiny and a road I would tread regardless. In that
premonition was a time stamp to my expiry date, and all my efforts
after coming back into reality, were directed to follow that road.
Part of the premonition was my separation with Sarina, so even though
it happened, and was and still is, terribly painful, it wasn’t
unexpected. I had been prepared and had been given another chance to
redeem myself. So when my expiry date approached, without my two
wives to guide me, and Charity havingaccepted her responsibilities, I
knew that I could leave this planet with good things in mind.
Nagging
Doubts
Yes,
nagging doubts. I had those aplenty, but in retrospect, there were
only a few. As the date approached, I began to rerun my life and to
think on the decisions I had made that may have serious repercussions
when I ascended to heaven. I would often sit and ponder three in
particular. The others, although serious in their own right, I had
confessed to God and to the people involved. The decisions that had
been made by each had been accepted and learnt from. But the others
were grey areas I hadn’t had a chance to address, as they were only
matters that I alone knew about, my dark secrets that had no bearing
on physical actualities.
The
first one is my own private pact I have with nature. I am an avid
conservationist and naturalist. I can’t bear to see native
creatures and plants being killed or destroyed to the whim of man’s
needs. Often, when flying my 747-400B into either Auckland or
Wellington Airports, I would see hillsides and mangrove areas being
destroyed to make way for airport developments, and on rare
occasions, native fauna running or flying across the runways and
being certainly maimed or killed by the self same aircraft I flew.
Would God welcome me to heaven considering the hypocrisy of my
actions?
The
second case reflected also on my time as an airline pilot. On many
occasions, I had been handed memorabilia, artefacts, and airline
products to be given to my children as presents. Many of these items
were gained by nefarious means but due to the quality of the people
donating them, I had never thought that what I might be doing was
entirely illegal. That it burned on my mind indicated some guilt,
and as I hadn’t confessed any of this to anyone, was I for the high
jump when the time of reckoning came? As I had lovingly passed them
onto people I loved or cherished, I hoped not, but that doubt was
always there.
The
third act, and in my mind, the hardest to disclose, was a matter of
burial. It affected two deceased people I loved, my mother and
father. My mother, Emma, died of cancer (I know, everyone I love
dies of cancer) when she was 54, followed 9 years later by my father
Gerry (of a heart attack). Mum was buried in a little east coast
cemetery in a shady quiescent grove. The scene, when everyone sees
it, is perfect, and a perfect place for Mum. As far as everyone was
aware, it was a double plot, and that when Dad’s turn came, he
would be buried with her. Unfortunately, when Dad did pass away,
there were comments coming from family members from both Mum and
Dad’s side, giving conflicting burial details. As there was no
indication from Dad in writing, it was up to me to make a decision.
In fact I will rewrite that. I took it on my shoulders to decide
that Dad would be buried with Mum.
Although
the decision was made, there were those who disagreed with it, due to
the years of misery Dad had given to Mum, the factors involved
leading to her sad passing. I knew, deeply, how Mum felt about Dad.
I had talked her out of divorcing him, another decision that could
have been seen as disastrous. But in the end, for whatever reason,
she stayed with him. I think that her inherent caring nature
couldn’t let him go. Even though they were married, in distress
individually, and not really in love with each other anymore, they
were destined to lead out their lives with each other.
This
weighed my decision to have them buried together. Even though some
argued against, and some argued for, it would be their destiny to be
reunited, for better or worse.
My
biggest fear, wasn’t so much the idea that god would disapprove,
but the reaction I was going to get when I got to join them. I know
that what I did not only came from the mind but also from the heart.
As a Libran, I believe in balance, and Yin and Yang. Whatever the
struggle, there is always a sense of balance at play. When the
scales of that balance is tipped, sure as eggs is eggs, they’ll tip
back the other way and eventually even up.
What
would Emma and Gerry think?
Love
Conquers All.
Well
folks, God gave me the benefit of the doubt on the first two charges
and said that my intentions and recognition of guilt proved that
there was love in the thoughts. His profound comment that ‘your
children had been passed on that knowledge through your teaching and
were now conducting themselves accordingly’ is suitable affirmation
that your intent has been passed on.
On
the third matter, things went better than I had anticipated. I must
interject here at this point and thank the lord I made it to heaven.
Anyway, after being here for some days (they don’t really have days
here, but you get the drift) I finally ran across Mum and Dad,
sitting on a cloud (one of many) over Ao-te-a-roa (New Zealand for
you foreigners) admiring all their grandchildren at work and play. I
stood for a while admiring them, arm in arm with beatific smiles on
their faces. For the first time in years, they looked utterly happy.
Sitting next to them, but alone, was a lean hard figure I
immediately recognised. Roger, Sarinas’ father, was also admiring
the view below. All were passing small talk, occasionally rejoicing
in merriment at some action or other their loved ones were taking.
Eventually,
Mum turned toward me, and on seeing me, tugging Dad’s sleeve to
gain his attention. I walked over as he and Roger turned and waved
to me to come over. I bent down and gave Mum a peck on the cheek,
and gave Dad and Roger a charitable hug. No one said anything for a
while. The moment didn’t need it. Then Roger got up, gave me a
wink, and left saying that we needed sometime together to catch up on
things.
But
before I could voice anything, Mum said to me ‘Don’t worry
anymore Shane, you did the right things.’
Dad
smiled too, the first time I had seen that smile since before his
breakdown in the ‘70s’. Then, for the first time since being
here, I noticed that I didn’t need medication anymore. I no longer
had a mental disorder. Dad winked then, and said ‘Me neither’.
It
was only when I saw my nearest and dearest that I suddenly realised
that everyone hear was no longer unwell! Mum had all her natural
colour back and the joy in her face hinted that pain was a thing of
the long distant past.
We
sat a chatted for ages, but I had two questions I had to ask them,
one for each of them. These stemmed from situations that had
occurred in my life and that would help me to close my understanding
of my destiny. I also had one question for Dad that pertained to his
father.
But
before I could even frame the questions, Mum stood up and gave me a
hug and said that ‘yes, she had been present when little Adam was
in hospital when he was there for nine months, and that she had also
been present several other occasions later, when his life was close
to expiring. That was his destiny. And yes, your father helped you
through your breakdown and was in you when his brothers came to visit
that time. That’s why you felt like you were talking to them as
their older brother, and that is why they were frightened. However,
Shane, do not raise the other question with your father, ever. His
saddest moment has been the sudden realisation that his father is not
in heaven. Suicide victims and murderers do not come here.’
I
was shaken and ecstatic at the same time. Mum had answered as she
always had. Poor Dad, having to live with the fact that he will
never see his father again. But what of his mother? There is plenty
of time and I am sure Dad will speak his mind when he is ready.
Mum
asked me if I had spoken to Sarina and Zoe yet. I said I hadn’t
and had been trying to find them all over the place. She suggested I
try looking on the clouds over Barbados, they’ve probably taken
time out from New Zealand and the kids to look after their own
pastimes. She told me (as she always did) to toddle off and go and
find them. I bade farewell to both of them, and to Roger who was
returning to the cloud. He gave me a wan smile, and asked me to get
Sarina to come and see him sometime, with Zoe and myself, for a
little chat. I asked how Conny was getting on as she must be all of
84 by now. He laughed heartily, saying nothing changes with her and
is currently annoying the heck out of her new neighbours. And before
you ask, Nan and Arvie are still alive and badgering each other in
the Selwyn Village Rest Home, in fact Nan just celebrated her 108th
birthday and still doesn’t look like pegging out.
I
thanked him for the information and caught a transcendental
meditation soul carrier to Barbados to meet the last of my destiny.
Oh,
I’m Going To Barbados.
The
transportation was swift up here and in a matter of moments I reached
the clouds geo-stationary located over Barbados. The cloud was
densely populated with souls, many thousands mingling in a potpourri
of colour. Suddenly the enormity of souls struck me as odd.
Everywhere I had been so far, had been heavily populated for sure,
but usually there was room aplenty to travel through. But here, the
crowd of souls was tightly packed together, as if in a rock concert.
I managed to start squirming my way through the throng, each soul
moving aside as I entered the throng. Everyone was euphorically
calm, and then the reason started to enter my mind. Barbados was the
perennial home away from home workplace of one Roger Waters. I also
knew that a good deal of famous West Indian cricketers came from
there as well, but West Indian cricket wasn’t as highly regarded as
Mr Waters.
Scratching
my memory cells, I realised that Roger had died 2 years after Sarina.
It was highly likely he had chosen Barbados as his eternal dwelling
space, as the two albums that brought him critical world-wide
acclaim, “Ca Ira” and “What Do You Think” were both record
and produced there.
It
also stood to reason that Sarina and Zoe would be here. Both were
avid fans, as I was, but their avidness far outweighed mine. Theirs
bordered on devotion to the man. Mine was linked to his inspiration
for creativity. Being a writer, which was first ignited by the Roger
Waters BBS where I posted as TheCummersCream, I knew how
inspirational he could be. I yearned to write as he wrote in his
songs. My two former wives simply loved him as a demigod.
My
measured pace into the throng started to slow as the centre of
attention drew near. Suddenly, the throng parted and I walked out
into a small space a few metres across. The strains of Pigs on the
Wing thrown out by a raspy velvety voice located directly in front of
me. I stopped and looked about me, noting the faces in close
proximity all smiling. I then saw across the ring the two I sought.
Both saw me at the same time and waved me over, but before I could,
the singing ceased and a voice replaced it.
“Whao,
haul it back in,
TheCummersCream
committed no sin,
See
for yourself folks,
The
bard of the board,
See
he too comes
To
the strings without chords,
See
he too comes
‘cause
he likes my words.
So
Cummer, What do you think?”
I
looked around embarrassingly, then turned back to Roger and said,
“Thanks
Roger, well met. If you don’t mind, I’ll catch you later maybe.
I need to talk to both my wives over there.”
As
I pointed towards them, Roger mumbled “good on ya” and carried on
singing. Both Sarina and Zoe started edging around the circle of
souls, joy and elation on their faces. (Was that for Roger, or me I
thought) But as I remember, everyone in heaven is happy so it didn’t
matter. As we closed each other, I smiled towards both of them, an
apologetic smile if truth were known. God only knows they died
before I did so I got the most out of life on earth, but they got the
best.
We
formed a circle on meeting, hugging each other warmingly. Platitudes
passed and soon I suggested we go somewhere and renew our old
acquaintances and chat awhile. Zoe agreed, with the proviso that it
was over Auckland, which Sarina readily agreed to, so we could see
what the kids were doing. We all set off through the crowd, now
parting more readily due to the frontal visible approach, and very
soon were sitting on cloud nine over Auckland, Ao-te-a-roa.
Life
Goes On.
And
it does! All the kids are doing really well. Sure they are having
their struggles and every now and then divine intervention is
required (which really is fun for an angel). The lessons taught are
being followed, the mistakes made, learnt from. Up in heaven, we do
our best. I now have a little crowd on my cloud, listening to
stories and poetry I come up with from time to time. Every now and
then, young Adam gets some inspiration from his Dad, and his writing
is really taking shape. Young Siobhan, through her mother Zoe, has
also been receiving inspirations for her poetry.
Sarina
keeps busy, with the kids, Roger, Zoe, and myself, as well as my Mum.
Zoe,
keeps up with everyone. She’s that sort of gal.
Heaven
really is so cool. Thank Roger Waters
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