The 2014 New Zealand Election

As usual politics is the name of the game this year, with sport, art, Merv of Mangakino, and Shrek's progeny all fading into the background.  Fair to say many aren't really interested but that's their loss.  If you don't vote they say, you have nothing to whinge about later.

So who are the big players in this years event.  Well forget party politics, they simply don't exist.  And that's not just down to the leaders of those parties.  Nope the way things pan out is purely down to media machinations.   The leaders are the face of the campaigns, quite literally.  Sure the parties have billboards out extolling local politicians, and equally many other billboards asking you to vote for a party.  But what of those parties?  How many honest and hardworking kiwis could name two maybe three other politicians in those parties that are not the leader?

And there in lies the conundrum.  We're not voting for National or Labour or the other MMP also rans (well Labour could arguably be an also ran) but for the faces that lead those parties.  And the media stands these leaders up and gets them to extol their party virtues.  But why, what of the other decision makers within that party?  Could we not have Bill English talking his field of dreams, Tau Henare on why he lived in National so long without becoming the countries first Maori PM,  or some other obscure cabinet minister rabbiting on about Health (OK!! Tony Ryall is a rabbiter though some would say Myxomatosis pervades the Health system which by the way was introduced by Labour's then MoH Helen Clark).

But what of the Parties?  Here's my unbiased view (yes I vote for two parties)

National - less than irrational, sometimes factional, totally functional, will rule!

Labour - unsaviour, bollocks behaviour, a ranting raver, no facer saver, slip sliding away.

Greens - in cars bikes unseen, detracting, defracking, nonsense subtracting, multiplying, defying, treasury worrying,

New Zealand First - about to burst, nothing worse, frothy, glossy, pithy, dizzy, old and grizzly.

Maori Party - Largely silent, nonviolent, wealth for all, slowly falling, bearing the scars, Kia kaha.

Conservatives - Good Polls, Can't think why, silly walkers, silly talkers. MMP gone wrong, someone write that song.

United Future - Get up, Stand Up, Stand up For Your rights!!  Was Bob a Christian?

Internet Mana - The Wizard of Oz, Becoz becoz. becoz we are the Wizard of Oz.  Oops wrong country.

ACT  - regrettably not a state of Australia (some think it should be) Kingmakers huh!!  I didn't know John Key was running for King of Aotearoa, but self governance long overdue!!

NZ Independent Coalition - so that's Mike King, Rhys Darby, Te Radar, Ewen Gilmour and all other Kiwi comedians telling the same joke.

Yeah ok, I do take politics seriously.  Party Vote Len Brown Coalition and get Tama Iti at the helm (yeah the SIS and GCSB are gone)

Oh and what's a political post without predictions?  National will govern with UF alone, ACT won't get in.  Labour will drop (worryingly for them) and Greens will rise (Worrying for Labour and country as a whole) Winston's Gold Card will get him more votes as the Baby Boomers hit retirement - nuisance factor, Maori Party will further decline as voters switch to the more charismatic Hone, and Hone's unnatural Alliance with Herr Harre will benefit as younger voters hit the hustings in the name of Internet.  Brendon Horan will be packing sausages for Sir Mad Butcher.  The surprise package as already evident in the pollings, Conservative?  If John Key needs another seat, then Craig is his man.

Our Political Leaders in Retrospect

Here is a running commentary leading up to the election.  I have chosen our political leaders as they best (I feel) represent their Muppet personas.

Ya never know what he's concocting but it sure looks good!!  Mind you have never seen Swedish Chef walk so might be a slight misrepresentation.

Nuff said!!

Doesn't have a lot to say but when it does come it's worthwhile.  Hard to get a smile from these two.

Just has this unflappable knack of being hard not to like though does have his moments.

Is there really a Mad Scientist in the House??

Simple really, take ya pick!!








Please remember, this is Satire!~!

The (New) Face Of ACC

With the changing of the guard in National (Nick Smith relinquishes ACC to Judith Collins) and the re-election of Carmel Sepuloni in Waitakere, are we to expect a change of fortunes for the under fire ACC?

To put things in perspective about ACC, I know personally four people that have dealings with ACC, three in the Sensitive Claims Unit (SCU).  Now two of that three also have major issues with ACC and the way they do business.  One was sued this year by Dr Peter Jansen, and now another has had problems with ACC faxing out her personal file to three (at least) agencies that have no dealings with this person, i.e. a breach of trust and security.

With Dr Jansen, we should be familiar with that case, but suffice to say, the previous Minister for ACC didn't do his job and have Jansen removed.  And with the current case, it's fair to say the new minister isn't aware of the breach of security and trust, but it should be on top of her new to do list.  As I said, I know four people with dealings with ACC and 50% are not very happy at all.  Is this indicitive and across the board with ACC Claimants, especially in the SCU.

One hopes in the first sitting of parliament Carmel Sepuloni (Labour and champion for these ACC claimants) will set about not so much as embarrassing Judith Collins, but bringing the wrought that is ACC SCU to bear and to create a public backlash that can only see the likes of Jansen and Cosgrove unseated from their pillars of power.  ACC needs an urgent enquiry established, not only to bring the perpetrators to justice, but also to find out how many folks have been disadvantaged and treated with scant disregard so this can be redressed and the department streamlined going forward to improve not only the lives of claimants, but also ACC's huge bureacracy, especially the bungling.

Nothing less than a Royal Commission of Inquiry is needed.  These two claimants I have alluded to may not be the only ones left suffering from their dealings with ACC, and the government and society need to be made aware of how badly placed ACC really are.  If heads have to roll, so be it.  And rest assured, if Judith Collins does her job and fires and hires, those that she does fire have no further input in any government department.

Currently the ACC department is the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz, sadly lacking a good heart.