Scottish Separatism reignites on old Battle Lines

In a bold move yesterday, the Scots Separatist Movement HamArse have thrown large Claymore's (made of good Sheffield Steel) over Hadrians Wall into England as an act of defiance.  The Swords were taken out in mid air by England's Air Defense Network, The Royal Archers and landed aimlessly in the northern English countryside though it is believed one Angus Bull was slightly injured.

Surprised by this incursion, English Royal Marines raided (in retaliation) sovereign Scottish soil to find the culprits.  Three members of HamArse were found to be doing a sword dance near the border in their Tartans (made of fine New Zealand Merino wool and woven in Northamptonshire) and painted in blue and green war paint (Trust British Paints - Sure Can).  The three then made a run for it but were captured a short time later, weighed down by their Glenfiddich bottles and copious amounts of Haggis.

Shortly after the English Parliament (also known as the British Parliament) issued a statement that these actions were of a few but worrying them most were the elaborate tunnels under Hadrians Wall, two in number, one heading towards a coal mine in Newcastle, and the other to a potato field in Northern Ireland.

The Scottish Parliament was forced to sit in urgency and issued a press statement saying the Claymores were not of Scottish Origin and the action of HamArse was not cognisant of the wants of a majority of the Scottish people and vowed to hunt out and deal with the revolutionary group.

Mel Gibson wasn't available for comment.