It has come (poor choice of word) to our attention you are in fact a member (again poor choice) of the fairer sex (bloody hell another one).
We believe you have silicone implants, and your meat and two vege were donated to Massey for medical experiments. We also have it on good authority you stole a camel toe off a camelier in Yemen and his poor camel is now going around in circles. You have three options (and growing your hair long isn't one). Remove the implants. Buy a salami and some Brussel Sprouts, and return Abdul Bin Mohammad his camel's missing toe so he can cross the desert without going dizzy.
Finally Greg, I implore you, don't have any more children. If they grow up like you then the internet will definitely not be a safe place.
With love and respect,
The Moderator.
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