Things to do before you hit 100

Things to do before you hit 100

Do not open others birthday cards.

Do not tuck in the older ladies.

Do attend Memorial Day celebrations.

Do not forget you were once a nurse.

Do eat well and drink plenty.

Do not forget your diaper floods.

Play golf on the front lawn, not in bed.

Play with Old Jeffrey, he’s much fun.

Play up to your kids when they come.

Play with the staff, they secretly love it.

Play with your old cock to ensure it still dangles.

Play the spoons badly at Mavis’s Tea Party.

Play the part of a dapper French man.

Remember, Alzheimer’s is for those who have no idea.

Remember last years’ Christmas fondly.

Remember to pass on your false teeth.

Remember that shitting in your diaper irks staff.

Remember the day you turned 99, we do.

Remember your folks, they sucker punched you.

Remember to kiss Mary, she loves you.

Remember to resuscitate Mary afterwards.

In the end, you’re gonna be 100.

In a couple of days you have to see the doctor.

Inspiration comes all the time, acting on it hurts.

Intrigue surrounds your family, they’d hoped for less.

In another room, a secret is being hatched.

In the years since you retired, millions have died.

In a selfish way, you don’t care, it’s good though.

After your birthday they will move Mary.

After your sudden demise, diapers will be handed down.

After your coffin drops in the hole, silence.

After all your life, you will regret nothing