A 21st Century Frankenstein aka Sickbay Ranger

Quirky recollection of my medical history.

In chronological order.

11 Oct 1958  At birth - possibly swapped at birth (I never fitted in)

1965  Broke right arm falling off the Jungle Gym at Lumsden District School - Cast

1966  -  All four Canines extracted at Otago University Dental School (I still have no clue why??)

1967  Severe Bronchitis at Arthurs Pass

1970  -  Severely broken nose play fighting with my brother (ducked a punch and smashed my nose into the dresser.)  6 Stitches

1979  The day before my 21st was Whitewashing a large rock on Great Barrier Island , fell off and severely smashed my right foot.  Painful way to get home for my party.

1982  -  Had numerous coral cuts on my legs in Fiji (working)  Took a long time to heal as Coral is live so I had many coral burns. I like to think my bones are now Coral :)

1983  -  Fell off a Railway Barrier arm ( four of us climbed each arm.)  The bloody thing started dropping (diesel loco coming) and lost my grip, fell off and smashed my right ankle.  Thank you Carl Epps for dragging me off the tracks.  Spent the time after on Tarapunga with cast on in Bluff/Foveaux Strait.

1985 - Varicose veins on left leg removed (by far and away the most painful stitches extraction ever.)

May 19 1986 - 3 weeks before my wedding. Fell down a ladder and smashed my nose on a cabinet needing several stitches at Nelson Hospital.

May 19 1987 - Yup, one year to the day required several stitches to a burst thumb.  The nurse asked me what I was doing on May 19th 1988.

1991  -  Vasectomy

1997  - severe Pneumonia.

2000 - Rhinoplasty (scrapping inside nostrils) (A Snorer)

2002  -  Rebuild right eardrum as an undiagnosed cyst from my navy days needed extractions.

2003  -  My Leap of Faith breaking Left Ankle, Right Ankle, Right foot (rebreaking previous breaks in 1979), Right Fibula and right Tibia.  The bloody plasterer had a bit of fun with me and gave me a Dayglo Orange (R) and Dayglo Green (L) casts.

Throughout my life I have been a regular Dental Visitor until the past 8 years where I have lost them all.  Bloody Palmy DHB keeps refusing me Falsies.  No worries - their loss.