Yes many of us Kiwi's have been through the ages of 16 to 30, and many equally users of alcohol during those ages. I'm a hypocrite here, because I too was an imbiber, met my wife drunk, married my wife and got drunk, and carried on drinking until I saw the brighter side of life and stopped being a drunk around age 42. I have lived that life so I'm appropriately qualified to write this piece.
What am I going to touch on? Several things really. The damage drinking does to relationships. Family violence. Child Sex Abuse. Good Health versus Bad Health.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not about to ban alcohol. I'm more in the mould of prevention and safety. But what is realistic is that many relationships between the ages of 16 and 30 (maybe even older) are brought about by alcoholic meetings. Night clubbing, parties, social occasions where people drink to gain courage, and to find like minded folks that share a common thread, in this case how they behave drunk. It's reality. The drinking culture is probably the cause of many relationships and herein begins my story.
Let's start with those one night stands. How many people have found themselves having casual sex when drunk, and then having to carry the burden of that meeting? You guessed it, two repercussions. Unwanted stigmatism (he or she is loose) and unwanted pregnancies. And how many of those unwanted pregnancies lead to bad marriages? In fact this leads onto why a lot of marriages don't last. It's not just that both couples sober up and find they aren't really compatible, more like one of the couple sobers up (during pregnancy) and the other remains drunk. And that is a huge issue. Many women do the right thing for their baby, stop smoking and drinking and care for the life of their baby. But inevitably the male partner continues his lifestyle as he's not burdened with the life of a child. Ergo, the relationship collapses through pressure and imbalance.
And through this collapse is borne the issues in society we all cringe about when we hear about them, but many are not willing to tackle the real issue. The imbalance in relationships, as mentioned, suddenly manifest themselves in both family violence and child sex abuse, not to mention gambling and other issues. The break down in the partnership where a woman comes clean and a male continues his boyhood habits without check is evident in many relationship breakups throughout the country, probably throughout the world where alcohol is freely available.
What to do about it? Join the States and make alcohol only available to over 21's. Too often many 16 - 21 year olds formulate their life skills based on alcohol, and more importantly alcohol abuse. Binge drinking is a societal problem that could be avoided through regulation. If these at risk teens are denied access to alcohol that leads to alcohol abuse (and for some further into drug abuse) then they grow up with a cleaner living perspective and if relationships are formed, it's alcohol free and less prone to accidental pregnancies and poor relationships.
Yes I speak after the facts. I was 27 when I met my wife, I was a drinker, I became a drunk, I became abusive when I couldn't understand why my wife didn't want to join my drinking circle. I was living my life, she was living the family life. I was out of place, out of time, and out of luck. All my issues lead to a breakdown. I lost what I had, everything, and had to fight hard to try and get it all back. I still drink, maybe one pint a month if I'm lucky. I have a distant relationship with my daughters, my estranged wife and I speak well to each other, better probably than at most parts in the latter part of our doomed relationship, but I still lost a lot. As many New Zealanders lose too, especially children of damaged relationships. Maybe it's time we stopped spending money on fighting Family Violence, fighting child sex abuse, all after the fact, and confront the real issue, drinking relationships that suffer dire change. If under 21's are brought up alcohol free, and find themselves in good employment with a steady social life, then when they hit 21, it stands to reason far less will have behavioural drinking problems and will become more aware of how they interact with others sober rather than drunk.
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