Now I'm no psychologist but I do think it's a real worry and one worth investigating. What factors are inherent in society to cause children to switch off at a young age and as far as I can see there are three reasons that I would like to offer up:
1. One Parent Families
2. Computer technology in schools.
3. Starting "training/schooling" too early.
First off the One Parent Family issue. Too many children from all socioeconomic groups are getting an unbalanced upbringing and when they come to school they begin to associate the teacher as the other parent, but become disenchanted when they lose that teacher every year, just when they had managed to come to trust them. It's probably out of left field, but could explain that after 4 or five trust episodes, they switch off.
Secondly, computer technology. There is no evidence to suggest this is an issue, but I am left wondering how much teacher and parent contact is eroded by too much time on computer technology. I have witnessed first hand how this affects my 13 year old niece. She'd sooner lock herself away in the bedroom with her laptop than mingle with family and if this endemic in schools, it's a plausible excuse. Lack of direct teacher involvement, like parent involvement disenfranchises the child.
And thirdly, the killer.
In closing, I suspect I might be wrong, but it is certainly worth discussing the topic. If kids are burning out between 8 and 12, then they are wasted by 15, and by 17 may display social symptoms of a mental health nature or in the way they interact (or not) with a wider society. Please share this if you think it deserves wider notice and more discussion.
Just talking to my grandchildren, I have found mental illness amongst today's youth is very high. For my grandies, it started when their dad walked out when they were very young and has had no contact with them ever since, not even a free internet birthday greeting. We need a stable family life back, a mum, a dad and all the relatives on both sides around them to love and protect them. Our kids are in a very sad state.
ReplyDeleteHey Thane! You bring up some interesting points, but I'm not sure that I agree with you.
ReplyDeleteI believe the problem we face in today's society is the pressure to churn out 'perfect' children. Some parents will have their children doing a horrendous amount of extra curricular activites, as well as extra study and training all in the name of success. Our kids are probably burning out at such a young age because of the pressures we advertently (and inadvertently) place upon them to be successful human beings.
Thanks for the read buddy :)
Thanks both of you.. I hear you loud and clear, but to be honest isn't sending children to pre-school an indication that we are trying to as you say, perfect our kids?? It's a bit like the peer pressure, Family X is sending their kids to kindergarten at 3 so we, family Y must do the same?
ReplyDeleteIf you have kids - stay at home and love them. If you need to work for financial reasons - down size your car, home, budget so you can stay home with your kids. You get one shot at it. Its a privilege. Respect that.
ReplyDeleteIt all started back a while when a man's wages failed to keep up with the costs and then along came the techno age with all the gadgets people had to have to keep pace with the Jone's next door, which further watered down those wages. So mum was forced to go out to work, but wait, there is more. There is now nobody at home to raise little Johnny and Mary, oh shoot, better build some playschools and kindergartens to dump them all in to be raised by strangers. Ooops! Pressure got too much for dad and he flew the coup leaving mum to pick up the slack and become mum, dad and the general dogs body and all. School is now rife with kids from broken homes and all sporting depression, anxiety behavior and are taking their anger and frustration out on the other kids. Hence the bully is born. School has become impossible, home is impossible because mum can't be stretched a thousand different ways, money is short, tempers are frayed. All the rellies have gone to Oz to live, so their is no extended family to support the families. Anger and frustration in the home leads to child abuse Sex, booze and drug education, adds to the confusion, kids have hours of unchaperoned time on their hands, so they do what they like out of school hours. There is no jobs for them when they leave school so they start experimenting with the things they shouldn't and become criminals, alcoholics, drug addicts, experiment with sex and get pregnant and pretty soon we have some seriously messed up kids on a hiding to nowhere. All screwed up completely by the age of 20. I say blame the politicians, they maketh the rules by which we all have to live, they giveth and taketh away things that are very important to us. Yes it is the pollies fault.
ReplyDeleteI just lost my eloquent reply to your post. I pressed the wrong button when I was typing. It was truly a piece of awesome thoughtfulness and I was pretty stoked with it.
ReplyDeleteThe gist of it is - I agree with you. Before 5-6, and sometimes older, children need to learn about the world in a less structured way.
Likewise, too many extra-curricular activities remove the chance for the brain to rest in a waking state. No wonder we see burn-out before high school.
Parenting is the biggest and most important job you can hope to do. Running a country isn't nearly as important! Career development, financial success, travel, renovations....all of these should be secondary to the well-being of the child, and family unit. Sure, it might be possible to do all these and raise happy, well-balanced children, but I suspect otherwise.
The stress of modern life is probably what is behind the rise in mental illness (as well as increased awareness leading to more diagnoses), but modern life does not have to be like that!!!
Disclaimer - I am a single parent, financially struggling and currently experiencing another bout of mental illness. My only child, 17, is unwell with depression at the moment. We would love the opportunity to be wealthy and well enough to complain about having to work so hard to keep the boat, the 2nd car and the cleaner!
I enjoy your blog. It is eclectic, but the same thoughtfulness is applied to all your topics.
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